We all suffer from our desires. Our desires to have what we want when we want it, all at once.
When you scroll through Instagram you’ll almost definite spot someone always with the latest product. And if you follow into their feed, you’ll realised that they’ve got all the beauty haul you’ve ever dreamed of.
Or if you are on Facebook, and is surrounded by other beautiful women who are capable themselves or whose partner or parent have a lot of money. They frequent aesthetic clinics and always buying the latest beauty raves. They look polished and beautiful … and you inevitably think, “Why can’t I be as wealthy and beautiful as them?”
If you think again, you may begin to realize that what you’re really asking in that moment is, “Why can’t I be happy, like them?”
In that moment, you’re making the assumption that happiness can be bought. And your beauty is validated by the amount of products on your face. It can’t. In that very human moment of envy, you’re making the cognitive error that having money means fulfillment, when fulfillment is a state of mind. We are conditioned to think like this.
The reality is that you have no idea if the people with all the beauty hauls or your rich beautiful acquaintances on Facebook are happy or miserable. When you look outward for fulfilment and satisfaction, you look in all the wrong places.
Outward fulfilment questions look like these.
What should I buy from the right shop? Buy the right make up palette? Laser and botox my face? Join the “best” aesthetic clinic? Use only the right brands? Wear the right makeup? Use the curated skincare?
You can do all of these things and still not get any closer to reaching beauty and inner balance in your life, because you’re aspiring to live someone else’s life. Your heart will still ache. You will still feel you lack something.
But when you look inward, you begin to have a real conversation about your personal goals. Your questions become:
How much money do I need to fulfill my purpose? How much do I need to stop spending on beauty products in order to start saving for my next asset? What products can I afford that leaves me some money at the end of the month to fund a business/hobby? What do I need to make my life fulfilling to me and what do I need basically to get there?
You become your own measuring stick for your own inner success. You stop comparing yourself to myths and marketing messages. You begin to work with your truth — whether you’re productively working toward your vision of fulfillment, or whether there are changes you need to make with your spending, saving, and investing in order to feed your soul more.
Something magical happens upon this acceptance.
We say no to that dosage of fillers so that we can put ourselves through a short getaway, and it’s okay.
We don’t buy another foundation even though we want to and focus instead on being religious to our current skincare to achieve glowing skin.
We give up buying 101 lipsticks (it’s not a healthy habit anyway) and choose to invest the savings in hopes of aggregating a nest egg.
We stop looking outward to get meaningless validations from people who know nothing about us within.
And though we may still feel pangs of desire for wanting things that are lower on our own priorities list like multiple fancy manicure session and monthly facial treatment with all the super power serums, we feel grounded because we’re in touch with our deeper goals and are working toward them. We feel productive.
Pleasures and comfort can be exchanged for money, but not sustainable happiness. They are different things.
The next time you see someone’s painfully curated image of success on your feed, tell yourself the only truth there is. “I have no clue as to whether they’re happy or broken. I only know me, and I know where I’m going.”
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts and beauty only comes from within.